


Insecure Intimacy

by LooneyMooney



Category: Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart (Cartoon)
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Body Horror, Closet Sex, Condoms, Condoms are mentioned but have yet to make an appearance but don't worry they're still being safe, Congratulations it’s condoms time!, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Future Fic, Hand Jobs, I'm breaking all the conventions with this one folks, I'm just saving the condoms are for the grand finale, M/M, Masochism, Mentions of Vore, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Rough Oral Sex, Safe Sane and Consensual, Safewords, Sex Toys, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trapped In A Closet, Vibrators, Which should be the new title of this cartoon because holy fuck why???, You Have Been Warned, also this show's just starting and I have no idea what's gonna happen sooo, although the porn is kinda mostly inconsequential to the plot and vise versa, anyway, beans, but not by much, i will fight you on this, like only a year or so into the future, lube as lube, oh yeah, rearranged furniture, safe sex is sexy as hell alright, the plot's mostly there just cuz it's a plotty show and it's fun to play with that, unbetaed, vaginal condoms, which ends kinda super gross??? This is why we pull away when giving blowjobs kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2020-08-19 23:15:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20217883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LooneyMooney/pseuds/LooneyMooney
Summary: Badgerclops and Mao Mao each have their insecurities. But with time, patience, and passion, they will learn to love these things about themselves and eachother that most others would find... perhaps not repulsive, but at the very least bizarre.AKA it’s time for me to teach this fandom some Sex Ed, and show you guys EXACTLY how sexy safe sex can be. Special shout-out to my incredible girlfriend for her love, support, affection, and overall overwhelming incredible sexiness. Trans Rights





	1. Setup

Mao Mao and Badgerclops had been sorta-kinda dating for a few months at this point. Their home on the hilltop reflected these changes: Mao Mao and Badgerclops had moved out of the triple-bunk bed, getting themselves a full-sized bed and setting up a room for Adorabat in the basement. Despite her enthusiasm for her caretaker’s newfound romance, Adorabat had been resistant to certain changes, especially the one with the beds. But it wasn’t long before she realized she kinda liked having her own space, especially once her caretakers had put in some extra effort to convert a portion of the basement Garage into something more personalized to their unofficial daughter: She had always used that room as a sort of refuge, after all, and it was already her favorite colors. They had relocated the triple bunk bed from their old room to the basement garage, and though the top and middle bunks remained untouched, the bottom bunk that used to be Mao Mao’s had been converted into a drafting table for drawing, making up new weapons, and (occasionally) doing homework. And the basement meant she got to have her own TV, extra couch, and they all pitched in to add beanbag chairs and extra fun carpets to the space. Adorabat liked making the room her own, liked having a space to get away from time to time, and liked having loving caretakers who really, REALLY loved each other. 

And her caretakers didn’t mind having a bit more space to themselves, either. 

It was a Tuesday night. Things tended to die down a bit on Tuesdays, usually just neighborhood disputes and no real attacks from monsters or pirates or any villains of the sort. It frustrated the everliving hell outta Mao Mao, not getting much to do. And Adorabat was spending the night at the witches house, having been curious about the process behind the creation of magical weapons and eager to be a witch’s apprentice for a few days. (Mao Mao pretended to disapprove, but Badgerclops had caught him sneaking proud looks at the pictures Badgerclops had taken earlier with his instant camera and put up on the fridge of her in her new witch’s hat, proudly holding a wand in her little wing. She was going to make a fine hero one day, that much was for sure, and she was sure to learn something useful from this experience. It was kinda sad to watch her start to gain a sense of independence and branching out in her knowledge, but at the same time, it was so incredible to watch her grow into the wonderfully unique hero she was always meant to become.)

Maybe the fact that Adorabat was seeking knowledge from another source than her number one hero was bumming Mao out a bit, too: it might have contributed to his antsiness, aside from the long, arduous day of settling disputes instead of fighting monsters. 

Badgerclops decided that maybe it would be best to check up on him, just in case. 

He found his partner in the Dojo, taking his frustrations out on a defenseless punching bag. 

Badgerclops decided to watch his partner for a moment. He really was... Beautiful, once you decided to let yourself see it. His muscles were wiry, but strong, and his fur was so dark it almost absorbed light, like the night sky before its first stars peeked through. He was fast, flexible, moved in impossible ways, his fangs flashing white against the inky darkness of his fur, eyes almost glowing that impossibly pure emerald green, his cape fluttering behind him, framing his movements like a comic book character. 

Badgerclops decided to try drawing him. It’d be impossible to get down a detailed sketch when he was like this, but it’d still make good figure drawing practice, and he was just so incredibly beautiful, it made him wonder how he never really _ noticed _ it before. 

Badgerclops popped out his sketchpad, and started doodling his love, right there in the doorway, as he went to town on the punching bag. It was impossible to_ really _ capture his beauty, of course, but this didn’t have to be perfect - figure drawing was all about capturing the feeling of the movement, after all. And... it was kinda nice, just sitting there, doodling that beautiful black blur of action.

After a while, Mao Mao took a small break, leaning down to grab a water bottle and downing it with big, thirsty gulps. That was when he caught Badgerclops sitting in the door jam, sketchpad and pen in hand, studying him intensely. It made him choke almost on his water in surprise.

“Uh... Hey, Badgerclops. What are you doing there?”

Badgerclops blinked himself out of it - he must have gone into hyperfocus for a while there - And smiled. “Oh, nothing, just practicing my figure drawing.”

“Wha - on ME?”

Badgerclops rolled his eyes a little, though the fond smile remained. “Yes, on you, silly! Who else would I be drawing?”

Mao Mao shuffled his feet a bit, coughing into his fist with a small, adorable little blush - whether the cough was out of bashfulness or simply to dislodge some more of the water caught in his throat was undeterminable. Probably a little bit of both.

“I don’t know, yourself? I mean, I know I’m a dashing hero and all, but I’m... not exactly much of a looker, ya know?”

Badgerclops tilted his head. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I think you’re beautiful. And there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Shhhhut up."

“It’s true! I mean, look at you! You’re GORGEOUS. Here, look:” He turned his sketchpad around, revealing page after page of Mao Mao studies. “I mean, it’s hard to capture your real beauty with just some lines, but you’re kinda fun to draw anyway, you know?”

Mao Mao looked at the drawings, and really, REALLY looked at them. They looked like him, but like... He couldn’t be that... elegant, could he? That fierce, or that smooth, or... it looked more like one of his sisters, really; truly heroic, with a natural deadly grace. But then again, his sisters weren’t that cocky, quite that sly, or sexy, or... wait, what?

Did Badgerclops think he was... Sexy???

Mao Mao glanced up, to see Badgerclops looking at him, a smile on his features. It made Mao Mao swallow with unexpected emotions.

“Badgerclops, these are... these are incredible.”

“Awww, shucks...”

“No no, I really mean it. Are these like, pure ink sketches, or something?”

“Yeah, I like drawing you with my brush pens! It really shows off how fluid and dynamic you can be, and makes it easier to capture how dark your fur is. These are just figure drawings though, I was just seeing if I could draw you in motion. The way you move is kinda spectacular, Mao Mao.”

And there goes his face, sacrificed to the firey hot demons of passion. Fare thee well, we shall miss you, forever concealed behind a now eternal blush. God dammit, did his partner really have to be so genuine? He wasn’t even being smooth on purpose, the _ bastard _. 

“Yeah, well - psh. Of course I’m - uh - sp-spectacular. How... How else would I, uh... become the greatest hero of all - of _ all _time?”

“You are really spectacular, dude. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise, okay? Cuz you’re awesome. And you’re also mine. And nobody gets to insult my boyfriend but me, and I only insult you when I’m teasing or when you’re being a dingle, so that’s okay. And you get to insult me when I’m being a butt.”

“To be fair, you do have a _ very _nice butt.”

“Oh, stop it! Your butt’s pretty awesome too, you know.”

“No it’s not, are you kidding me? It’s all gross back there, with a disfigured tail stump and everything. It’s a hideous butt, that’s why I wear a cape, ya butt.”

“Well, I don’t know man. I mean, once I got past the fact that you had gotten _ that badly _ hurt, I realize it’s not actually all that gross back there. It’s kinda awesome, really, how intricate the scarring is back there...”

Mao Mao gasped, feeling a wandering hand on his backside, carefully tracing one of the scars on his tailstump with a delicate claw. That thing was... REALLY sensitive. Holy _ SHIT _ . He shivered, hard, and wobbled on his feet, allowing his partner’s robot arm to steady him. He felt Badgerclops lean forward, his face _ Juuuust next _ to his twitching ear.

“You know, Adorabat’s not gonna be home for a few days. ... Why don’t we take this to our room? Spend some... _ quality time _ together ~ ”

Holy _ SHIT. “O... Okay.” _

  
Badgerclops, the _ fiend _, scooped him up in a bridal-style carry with impossible ease, and carried him over through the kitchen and into their shared bedroom. Besides the situation with the rearranged beds, nothing much had really changed about the room. Up until this point, they hadn’t really done much other than make out and grope, though there had been that one incident with the closet...


	2. The Closet Incident

Mao Mao and Badgerclops were fighting the Sky Pirates in their crashed skyship - they had managed to get a few parts of the ship working again, despite still not having access to a proper power crystal, by secretly chipping off a small piece of the Ruby Pure Heart. This had been a source of severe frustration for Pureheart Valley’s Sheriff and Deputies for some time now, And now they’d managed to trap the two heroes into one of their closets, with a forcefield of some sort blocking their ability to try and pick the closet’s lock. Adorabat was still outside, presumably fighting the Sky Pirates alongside King Snugglemane, who had been instated as an emergency backup sheriff for some time now. Last they heard, they were fighting the pirates in the castle itself, miles away from the pirate ship’s crash zone, as the pirates were planning to try and chip off more of the Ruby Pure Heart to unlock more of its potential. The results of such an endeavor could be disastrous... Even though Mao Mao trusted his young ward and his king, he was still itching to escape this cramped closet, and get back to the fight. But they’d be stuck here until Adorabat and King Snugglemane had defeated the Sky Pirates, infiltrated their ship, and disabled the ruby pureheart shard. It could take  _ hours _ . 

So Mao Mao was scratching at the pink bubble desperately, trying to get at the lock through sheer determination. 

“Dude, chill out! We’re not getting out of here until the fight’s over, so you might as well just... chill. Alright?”

Mao Mao groaned and leaned back... directly into Badgerclops. It was an incredibly cramped space after all, with only a lightbulb, a broom, a mop, and a roll of paper towels within. There had been one of those big mop carts in here, too, which was probably the whole reason why the closet existed in the first place, but the villains had shoved it out to make room for their “prisoners.” Badgerclops had turned off the lightbulb for Mao Mao earlier, since the dang  _ FORCEFIELD  _ was providing more than enough ample light with it’s soft pink glow to light up the space, and the bare lightbulb had been giving Mao Mao a bit of a  _ migraine _ . 

“I don’t want to  _ chill. _ Our KID is out there, fighting the Sky Pirates, and they’re more powerful than ever before now, and...”

“And she’s going to do amazing, sweetie. We just have to chill out for a bit and trust her, okay?”

Badgerclops circled his arms around his partner, and Mao Mao swallowed with a blush. They had only been “dating” for a couple months, at this point (a couple is less than a few, but not by much), so even though he was used to physical affection from his friend, this was... a bit different. Just a tad more... intimate. Despite himself, he leaned into the touch, sighing in frustration.

“But that could take  _ hours.  _ Days, even, if they managed to snag another piece of Ruby Pure Heart. What the heck are we supposed to do in the meantime?”

Badgerclops leaned down a bit, brushing his lips against the top of Mao Mao’s pointed ear with a little kiss. “Well... I know what we  _ could  _ be doing...”

He let his organic paw wander downwards, and squeezed his partner’s thigh. Mao Mao gasped, slapped the hand away.

“Badgerclops! This is no time to be...  _ Canoodling! _ Our kingdom, our KID could be in serious danger!!!”

“Yeah, but like, it’s not like we can do anything about it from here, right?”

Mao Mao knew his partner was right. They’d already tried everything they could think of, but whatever this bubble was made out of seemed to block everything, even radio waves. But... part of him was nervous. They had only been dating for a couple weeks, and everything still felt... kinda new. Even though they had already known each other for years. Every touch, as familiar as it was, felt like it carried just a bit more energy to it, a bit more feeling that sent warmth surging through Mao Mao’s body. And yet... he couldn’t deny that there was a big part of him that was... intrigued, by his partner’s offer. 

“What are you suggesting, Badgerclops...?

“I’m suggesting, we have a little fun while we’re stuck in here. We’ve been working so  _ hard  _ ever since the Sky Pirates found that dumb little chip of Ruby, and I for one think we deserve a chance to just  _ relax _ . Hell, we haven’t even had the chance to really make out since that one time you dramatically kissed me before going off to try sacrificing yourself, and that was  _ weeks _ ago, and it was SAD. Come on dude, don’t you think we deserve to be happy?”

Mao Mao swallowed again. Badgerclops was starting to massage his sides, and pepper kisses all along his ear, and it was simultaneously making him  _ melt _ and driving him BONKERS. With a frustrated grumble, that might have been a purr in disguise, Mao Mao relented.

“ _ Fine.  _ You want happiness? I’ll  _ GIVE  _ you Happiness.” And he let himself  _ GO _ . Flipped himself around so that he was actually facing his partner, grabbed him by the artillery sash, pulled him down and kissed him, HARD. Rolling his hips up into his partner’s stomach, purring into his mouth, sliding his hands up to grip his partner’s shoulders and feel the REAL muscle, padded with fat and thick skin and fur, the kind of strength you would never find in a body builder. One hand continued to grip the organic shoulder, while his other hand wandered downwards, stroking his chest and stomach, absentmindedly just trying to FEEL every part of his partner, his  _ lover _ , that he could find in arm’s reach. Badgerclops buckled under the attention, found himself dropping to his knees with a groan, making himself closer to his partner’s height, which in turn made it easier for Mao Mao to reach. God,  _ Damn _ , Mao was good at this... his mouth opened with the noises he couldn’t contain, and Mao Mao slipped his tongue inside, and FIREWORKS went off in his head, their tongues not so much fighting as  _ dancing  _ with eachother, and he felt blood rush downwards, and...

Mao Mao stopped. Pulled away to catch his breath, tongue still sticking out, and looked DOWN, and - and his eyes went HUGE.

“Huh.”

“Oh man, I am so sorry about that, I just...!”

“No no, it’s okay, I just... this isn’t what I was expecting, is all”

“Wha - what do you mean by that? Huh???”

“Well, I mean, I guess I... uh... I kinda thought you’d be bigger.”

“WHAT??? I’m... I’m, I’m PLENTY big! Bigger than you, ya dingus!!!”

“Well, duh. I don’t even have one.”

Badgerclop’s brain short-circuted at that. “You - huh?”

“I’m trans, dickwad. Wait, hold on, you... you didn’t know???”

“No! I mean, not that it’s a problem or anything! I love you for  _ you _ , Mao Mao, but like... you just insulted my dick bro.”

“Oh shut up, I didn’t  _ INSULT  _ it, I just said I thought it’d be bigger. I’m actually kinda relieved, if I’m being honest. I thought you might be too big for me, but like... it turns out you’re almost EXACTLY the right size.”

And holy shit, why was that so incredibly hot??? The way he just, PURRED out that last part, with his dumb big beautiful eyes and his dumb cute pink little tongue still sticking out his dumb cute little face with it’s dumb sexy smirk, and just, he couldn’t stand it anymore, he HAD to kiss him. It was a REQUIREMENT. The universe DEMANDED a kiss, and by universe, he meant Mao Mao, cuz in that moment, Mao Mao WAS his universe. And Mao Mao MELTED into it, holy shit, he was a big beautiful ball of messy purring fur, and they crashed into the back wall of the closet and he was RUTTING up on his dick, oh  _ man _ , and it almost physically hurt him to pull away but when he did Mao Mao just moved on to his NECK, with his  _ fangs _ , holy SHIT that was hot and it had him gasping for air, but he couldn’t loose focus, he had to say something, because...

“Mao Mao, I don’t have any protection.” 

Mao Mao skoffed and pulled away. “What are you talking about? Shouldn’t we be...  _ relaxing _ ?”

And he went back to giving hickies, the  _ DICK _ , this was IMPORTANT!!!”

“No,  _ DUDE _ , I mean..! Ohgod how are you so good at this?? ... I MEAN like, lube and condoms and stuff! I don’t whaaaaahhhh that’s good .. I don’t wanna HURT you!”

“Oh please. A true hero never gets hurt, especially not by his devilishly handsome and incredibly erotic partner-in-crime. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay dude, stop, STOP, GRAPEFRUIT!”

Mao Mao stopped suddenly, sitting back, his ears at attention.

Badgerclops sighed, glad they’d established a safeword back when they first started dating. “I’m sorry dude, but I really, REALLY don’t wanna get you hurt just cuz we were both too dumb and horny to think things through. I mean, what if I get you pregnant? We can’t take care of a baby while fighting monsters and raising Adorabat, it’s too much, even for us.”

“Had my tubes tied when I was like 8 dude, I couldn’t get pregnant even if I wanted to.”

“Okay, First of all, that is SUPER messed up, who lets a kid go through major surgery like that before he even hits puberty??? And SECOND of all, that still doesn’t protect you from STDs and stuff, bro! We’ve only gotten tested for the preliminary stuff, and we fight crazy monsters on like, a daily basis!!! What if I accidentally give you like, a monster yeast infection, or something???”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how yeast infections work.” 

“You know what I mean!”

Mao Mao sighed dramatically, crossing his arms. “Well, this was your idea! What did you think would happen, when you suggested we  _ Relax?” _

“I don’t know, I thought we’d just like, make out a bit or something! I didn’t expect us to get like... Well, like THIS so quickly, okay???”

“Okay! Okay. It’s okay, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, okay? We could just talk, or keep making out, or... whatever you want to do. Alright?”

Badgerclops sighed, and sat back against the wall grumpily. “Well, NOW I’m too horny to think of anything else.” Mao Mao facepalmed, dragging his paw down his face. But then he actually looked at his hand, and a wicked grin overtook his features.

“Well... We don’t HAVE to do things the  _ traditional  _ way, you know. We could do things... a little differently, if you wanted.”

Badgerclops raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

“Wellllllllll..., why don’t I just... SHOW you what I mean?”

Badgerclops shrugged. “Whatever, man, do what you want.”

Mao Mao took that as an affirmative. He slyly slipped his hands out from their gloves, almost as though it were a strip-tease, and Badgerclops couldn’t help but watch, almost drooling. Once he got those gloves off completely, revealing his beans, he flexed his hands. How the hell those adorable little beans could simultaneously be so sexy to the cyborg, he had no idea, but it was. Maybe it was because he took his gloves off so rarely, that the hands beneath felt like a treasure, like something far more intimate than they had any right to be. 

Then he freaking, CRAWLED over Badgerclops, and hot damn okay THAT was sexy, feeling his actual hands on his body instead of the gloves he always wore, working into his flesh, kneading it like dough in a careful massage that had Badgerclops full-out moaning. His erection, which had been starting to droop at the thought of potentially inadvertently hurting his best friend, sprung back to life when Mao Mao started kneading the flesh of his inner thighs, spreading them apart as his mouth nuzzled and nipped at his ribs. Mao Mao spit into his bare hand, rubbed them together as he wriggled his way between his legs, and started tracing the base of his dick, and holy shit if he wasn’t aroused before he CERTAINLY was  _ NOW _ . 

“W-Wait, I wanna.... I think I know what you’re thinking, and I wanna help you out too, okay?”

“O... Okay, sure, yeah.”

“Okay, so how do I...?”

“Oh! Um, you... there’s a few different parts that feel pretty good down there, but like, you could just exolore it if you want? That’s what I like to do, anyway.”

“Oh! Okay cool... Do you know how to...?”

“Well, not really, but it can’t be that hard, can it?”

Badgerclops burst out laughing. “Oh trust me dude, you’ve already MADE it really, REALLY hard!” Mao Mao groaned at the horriible innuendo, and Badgerclops just laughed more. “It’s okay, just touch it. But, like, not too gently... But not to not gently, either! Just like... A solid, but loose grip, okay?”

“Oh, you mean like... Like this?” Mao Mao squeezed the top of his dick, TIGHTLY, and Badgerclops groaned and bucked into it, not expecting such a firm grip. “Oh - ho-hooooooly SHIT, dude...!” Mao Mao grinned, pumping a bit, slightly experimentally, and Badgerclops bucked again. “Yeah, you like that, Buddy?” Badgerclops groaned again, and Mao Mao laughed - not harsh, but EXUBERANT, breathless, a victory cry.

“Oh man, dude, I can’t let you have all the fun! Here, how about I just...” Badgerclops shifted his organic hand to rest, palm-up, against Mao Mao’s crotch. And felt a little bump on his palm... Curiously, he moved his thumb towards his palm to brush up against it, and was surprised when Mao Mao’s eyes went HUGE again, before rolling into the back of his head, letting loose a purring, whining, moan, rutting down into his companion’s hand. It caused him to reflexively squeeze just a little bit tighter, which made Badgerclops gasp and slip his fingers a little downwards, past another, much smaller bump, into a warm, wet cavern which made Mao Mao even LOUDER and turn rutting into straight-up thrusting. Everything was a bit of a blur from there - Badgerclops rubbing that bump with his thumb, while the rest of his fingers stroked Mao Mao’s textured insides, while Mao Mao tried squeezing and pumping in a rhythm. Eventually Badgerclops’s real hand got tired, and he said “H-Hold on, I wanna... Wanna try something....”

Mao Mao slowed down curiously, and whined as Badgerclops slipped out his organic hand and shifted his weight, so that he could bring his cyborg hand up to the entrance instead. Mao Mao shivered, a confused look in his eyes - the cyborg hand wasn’t cold, per say, but it wasn’t nearly as warm as the organic one had become. But then Badgerclops made it  _ VIBRATE _ , and it was all downhill from there. Mao Mao collapsed onto his companion, becoming a groaning, moaning, purring MESS, and holy FUCK was that sexy, so Badgerclops took himself into his organic hand when Mao Mao’s paws slipped away to grip at fur, and started jacking himself off as he upped the vibrations and started moving his fingers deeper, deeper than his real ones could go, and felt Mao Mao grip his fur  _ even tighter _ and FUCK that was sexy, watching him shiver and moan, feeling the deep vibrations of his purring body against his dick as he jacked himself off, Seeing Mao Mao screw his eyes at tight and fucking  _ mewl _ against him, Crying HIS name, and that must have triggered something because suddenly he was seeing white instead of black, and he screwed his own eye up tight as he came all over the two of them. But then Mao Mao started squirming, and Badgerclops realized he’d forgotten to deactivate the vibration feature before he came, and now Mao Mao was... Oh fuck, was he, cumming? Or was he overstimulated, or...? It was hard to tell, but it was still like, INCREDIBLY hot, so he decided not to stop quite yet. He increased the vibrations, and ground the heel of his palm mercilessly against Mao Mao’s little bump, and  _ holy shit I think he’s cumming AGAIN, can people DO that??? _ He was outright SPASMING now, grasping at his fur in a death grip, gasping for air, and with a final spasm, spine arching BEAUTIFULLY, eyelids drooping, mouth hanging open, actually SCREAMING, he came for a THIRD time, before finally twitching himself off the appendage and collapsing onto his companion. Holy SHIT.

“Holy SHIT, dude.”

“Holy... Holy shit, indeed...”

They lay there, for a while, bathed in the warm glow of both post-clitoal bliss and the pink glow of the forcefield. 

The forcefield flickered. 

“Oh shit.”


	3. Condoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, and welcome to the 2020s! Here, have some Sex Ed disguised as what might be the hottest smut of the decade! And I know the decade just started, but trust me, this is some really hot smut. Burning, even. Hopefully that good good pleasant burn. You’ll see what I mean ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clarify: when Mao Mao said he had his tubes tied when he was “like 8 years old,” that’s in... well not quite cat years, but. I decided to make a new system of “catlike” years for the world of pure heart valley. 8 years for cats in the real world makes them like 44, so I divided that by 2 - he’d have been around 22 in human years when he got his tubes tied, so probably around when he met Tanya Keys and started being a more sexually active adult. It seems like the kind of extra move he’d make, dedicating himself to his hero’s duty and negating his heats (I know, I know, heats make a perfect and phenomenal fanfic trope but honestly? Do you think Mao Mao would want that kind of distraction in his life? He’s got legends to become.)

Adorabat and Snugglemane had somehow figured out a way to disable the shields by stealing the ruby shard from the Sky Pirates, and then saved their town’s sheriff and deputy from their awkward (but intimate) predicament. Ever since, they hadn’t had much time to themselves to further explore the more physically intimate side of their relationship - between fighting monsters, taking care of Adorabat, and trying to figure out what exactly was wrong with the Ruby Pureheart, they just hadn’t had any alone time. Until now.

Mao Mao clutched his partner’s arms as they carried him towards their shared bedroom, now with a single, bigger bed for just the two of them. Mao Mao could hear his blood roaring in his ears as it made a mad dash to stain his dark face with a brighter red glow, could feel his usually sharp mind growing dizzy with affection as his lover gently cradled him onto the bed and loomed over him. Badgerclops took off his satchel and crawled over his lover, cradling Mao Mao as he reached out to grasp at his lover’s fur. Despite his compromised position, Mao Mao let himself enjoy this - he chuckled, letting his sharp, gloved fingers run through his companion’s mismatched mocha-creme fur, feeling the hard muscle padded by soft fat and covered by coarse fur, looked up - Badgerclops’s eye was crinkled with a large grin, but even when squinted, you could see a sliver of his eye, just a hint of warm yellow framing the sort of sharp, icy blue that could pierce your very soul, but which surrounded widely-bown, love-filled pupils. He was beautiful, so filled with joy and curiosity and mischief, so big and strong and comforting and steady, so wild and goofy and HIS. This man was his everything, everything that he could never be, everything he needed, everything he wanted, everything that could make him his own best self. He wanted - oh, how he WANTED, but - what he wanted right here, right now, was to make sure that Badgerclops _ felt _like everything. But he could see in his partner’s eye that they shared a goal - that Badgerclops wanted to make Mao Mao feel like everything, too. 

Mao Mao did the one thing he could think to do. He reached up, squeezed Badgerclop’s cheeks in his own hands, and forcefully brought his face down for a hungry, longing, sloppy kiss. And Badgerclops MELTED into it - let his body weight really press into Mao Mao’s, which, hot _ dog _ that felt GOOD, and his arms circled around him, holding him up and pressing him closer somehow, with wandering hands trapped between the bed and his back but he didn’t CARE, and he let himself _ mewl _ when his hands started tracing over that scar tissue on his tail stump again, melting himself, his head lolling back from the kiss to pant and gasp for air, his hips making little aborted movements to feel the hand on his backside and also to get some friction on the front end of things, and he brushed up against his lover’s -

Badgerclops gasped, in a nasally tone, “Condoms -!”

Mao Mao huffed, “Right,” and started wriggling his way out of Badgerclop’s grasp to scour the room for the discarded satchel. He decided to take off his cape and other hero gear along the way, shucking off his shin guards and pulling off his gloves with his teeth, slipping his socks off as he let his feet dangle over the edge of the bed as his hands sorted through the bag to find the condoms and lube he knew Badgerclops started always keeping in there since the incident. Badgerclops rolled over, leaning weight on his organic elbow as he stroked himself with the mechanical one. Mao Mao turned around, condoms and lube successfully located, and... gulped.

Oh. Oh holy shit.

Badgerclops propped himself up a bit more, worry starting to cross his features. “Mao Mao, are you doing alright...?”

Mao Mao recovered by shaking his head, eyes squinted tightly enough to let his ears roar for a moment, trying to reset himself enough to reply coherently. “I’m fine! I’m... I’m fine, it’s just, uh... You um... you’re a lot, uh... _ bigger _than I... remember...”

The concern on Badgerclop's face was replaced with a smirk, and he reached out his mechanical hand to cup his face, thumb brushing against his lower lip. “You’re drooling, my dear.” Mao Mao touched his own face, holding his partner’s hand in the process - he was indeed drooling. Badgerclop’s dick was... hypnotic, almost, all... Swollen and red and

... And looked far, FAR bigger in the sunlight streaming in through the privacy slats of their window than it had in the dark closet with only the dim pink glow of a force field to light them.

“HOW are you so much bigger now..????”

“Well I mean, I wasn’t... _ Fully _aroused when you saw it the last time, you kinda closed your eyes before it got to bursting point, and it uh... tends to get bigger when that happens?”

“Do... Do ALL dicks do that, or...???”

“Well... Yeah. Dude, have you... never seen a dick before...?”

“Sh - Shut up!!! The only other person I’ve ever gotten this far with is Tanya, and she can have whatever junk she wants, the lucky bastard.”

Badgerclops chuckled, and Mao Mao gave him what was supposed to be a dirty glare but turned out more like an adorable pout. It just made Badgerclops chuckle more gleefully, until Mao Mao slapped him - which just turned it into a little giggling slap fight between the two of them, with Badgerclops getting more and more joyous and Mao Mao getting more and more frustrated, rolling around the bed wrestling and shoving at one another, until -

“Stop - laughing - at me!” 

Badgerclops stopped giggling to catch his breath and stare up at his partner, wide-eyed with blown pupils, panting trying to catch his breath, and Mao Mao noticed that their little slap fight had led to him strattling his partner’s broad torso, a rather large erection rubbing against his tail stump, ungloved hands pinning Badgerclops’ shoulders to their bed, and... A small trickle of something warm, wet, and sticky along his lower back? “Did you just come?”

“Well - okay yes, but - To be fair, I was already _ really _ close and you were squirming around and growling and we were like, play-fighting and you were being HIGHLY unfair, grinding your tail thing against me like that, it feels almost like some sort of... little fuzzy dick! And I don’t KNOW why that’s hot but it is, and -”

“How come you’re still hard?”

“Wha - well, it.... It doesn't go down IMMEDIATELY... It takes a little time... And also you - you’re still being very hot and very naked and very much wiggling on my dick and that’s a huge turn-on.”

Badgerclops reached up a hand to stroke Mao Mao’s cheek, with the single most affectionately flabbergasted expression adorning his features.

“also, just for clarification’s sake... I wasn’t laughing at you, Mao Mao. I was just laughing because I was happy! You’re incredible, you know? And it’s just so genuinely awesome that I get to be yours. And you get to be _ mine _. And we get to find out new things about each other, and it’s exciting! I’m excited to find out more about you, and I’m excited for you to figure out more about me. And that we can just... Find out more about each other. And right here, right now? We’ve got all the time in the world ~”

Mao Mao’s breath caught in his throat as Badgerclop’s voice rumbled in his ear - he had started clutching at his partner’s shoulders more than holding them down, and badgerclop’s hand started trailing down through his fur and he arched into it, letting himself start to purr as his mind began to blank out, losing himself to the sensations as claws sunk into only black fur, scratching the surface of skin and bringing little sparks of pain - the kind of little, exciting, pleasurable pain, the kind that doesn’t really hurt for long but makes you feel _ alive _ \- and Badgerclops reached down to trace over those scars, the lattice work of patterns that create almost a dancing constellation of endless stories, proof that his partner has survived so much, has learned and grown and fought and endured over and over and over again, and dear _ lord _ was the thought of that endurance being put to good use hot as ** _hell_ **. 

Mao Mao reached out for the little pile of condoms he’d removed from Badgerclop's satchel, and... Stopped short.

“Badgerclops?”

“Hmmm?”

“What is all this?”

“Oh! Well, I uh... Decided to do some research, and figured it’d be nice if we had some options for next time? So, I obviously got condoms and lube, but I also got dental dams and vaginal condums and...” His mechanical hand whirred as a filthy grin overtook his features - “some _ toys _.”

Mao Mao swallowed, but there was an unnmistakable glimmer of lust in his eye. “What, uh... What kinda toys?”

The mechanical hand finished transforming before Mao Mao’s eyes, and with a final flip, a large, orange-red silicone dildo with a swollen base and soft barbs at the tip wobbled out. “I figured we could start you off with something softer, and more cat-like, before trying actual penetration? Maybe I could get you to come a couple of times before I try getting myself off inside you. You have like... Crazy amounts of endurance, bro, I couldn't even try to keep up without at least a little help. Mao Mao, you.... You’re drooling again.”

Mao Mao was, indeed, drooling again. But could anyone blame him? The thought alone of what his partner was planning to do to him was DELICIOUS. It set his blood aflame, sparks of excitement tingling along his spine, anticipation alone making him a little light-headed, drunk on wild lust - Hot Dog, he was about to be pushed to his ** _limits_ **!!!

Mao Mao grabbed his partner by the fur of his collarbone, and pulled himself close. “Badgerclops?”

“Yes, Mao Mao?”

“I want you to fuck me raw.”

Holy fuck.

“Yes, sir!” 

This time, when they kissed, it was a joint effort, a crashing of storms, a frenzy of lips and tongues as they both fought to get a taste of what lay inside. Mao Mao ground against his partner, pulling Badgerclops on top, moaning as he lay his weight against him, crushing him just enough to make him pleasantly breathless. He whined as he thrashed up into his partner’s great expanse, moaned as he felt Badgerclop's hand push against his groin, shivered when he felt the cool liquid slide of a dollop of lube dropped onto his blazing-hot clit. 

“Here, let me warm that up for you”

Badgerclop's organic hand started sliding around his clit, and started slipping down between his folds, rubbing right there, just above his hole for just a moment, before dipping down to -

“H-holy shit dude, you’re like, Really fucking wet down there...”

“Well, duh. Also, just for clarification’s sake? The fact that I could make you come like that so quickly is really fucking hot, too.”

“Yeah, but like... Okay come on dude, you gotta feel this”

Mao Mao curiously let his paw be guided down to his hole, and -

“Holy shit I’m so WET”

“Right??? Wait, you... You couldn't feel it?”

“No, I... I don't know what goes on down there! I mean, hell, sometimes I can’t even tell if I’m horny or if I just need to pee.” 

“Wow, that’s... really fucking weird, dude.”

“... shut up and fuck me already, Badgerclops.”

“Alright, alright, lemme just -“

Badgerclops circled the hole once before he sunk his finger into it, and Mao Mao moaned, wiggling down onto it, rubbing at his clit fiercely with his paw (since it was already down there, might as well...) Badgerclops himself moaned at the sight, biting his lower lip. 

“Oh man, dude, you don’t even _ know _ how hot you are right now, do you? Just... just, taking it all, moving like... like a wave pool, or something, I don’t even know...”

“More, please, Badgerclops -!”

“Holy shit, okay, I gotchu-” he added another finger with a squelching sound, and Mao Mao thrashed with a “yesss,” clutched his wrist, bucking up into the fingers, throwing his head back, but he wanted -

“Comeon, gimme another, I want -“

“Oh my god, you want - but you’re still so -“

“”MORE, Badgerclops!”

“Okay, okay-” he added another finger, and Mao Mao moaned, starting to feel that pleasant burn that came with being stretched to his limit, the slick slide of claws inside him, the tips of them scratching lightly against his inner walls and sending sparks of hazy pleasure-pain through him -

“Mao Mao, I don’t have any free hands could you - I don’t wanna get my circuits clogged again or risk you getting any infections, could you please, get a condom and - and put it on the dildo, make sure it’s one of the unlubricated ones or else the silicone will disintegrate over time, this is really important-”

“I - I gotcha, Badgerclops, just lemme-”

Mao Mao reached over to the fallen pile of protection, and scrambled around with his one paw for a condom package that didn’t feel as squishy, and held it above him for a moment to read through the haze of being finger-fucked so excellently by slowing, but still steady claws- “this one’s the.... vaginal condom? What’s that do?”

“That one’s for later, you want something else for now. It should have a yellow package?”

Grumbling, but with a heady groan as the claws dragged up against his g-spot, Mao Mao fumbled some more until he snatched up one of the yellow packages and tore it open with his teeth - Badgerclops hissed out a quick, quiet “Jesus fuck that’s hot”, which made Mao Mao smirk a bit as he spit out the flap of foil in his teeth, and pulled out a normal, unlubricated condom, a translucent yellow ring of rolled-up plastic with a little bubble of stretched material in the middle. Mao Mao looked at it inquisitively for a moment, until Badgerclops decided to take mercy on him 

“You put the bubble bit on the tip and roll the rest down until it completely covers the shaft of the toy - there should still be some ring left, that rests at the base”

“Shut up, I know how to use a condom. I’ve just... never had to do it before, is all.”

“Alright. Wait - Tanya never fucked you like this?”

“Eh, we tried it once, but it never really got that far. We mostly did oral stuff and some.... weird transformations? She’s got a lot of... weird kinks, but for some reason insertion freaks her out a bit. She tried to eat me once, but I wasn’t into it.”

“She fucking WHAT???”

“Relax, it was perfectly safe. She wasn’t gonna digest me or anything, she just wanted me “completely inside her,” or something? Which sounded hot in _ theory _ when she put it like that, but in practice...? It was really weird, in like, a not fun way. I mean, I get eaten by monsters on a weekly basis, so my survival instincts kept kicking in and it was really kinda just gross. She was kinda disappointed by the whole experience too, and we never did it again.” Mao Mao nonchalantly rolled the condom over the dildo as he told this story, as if he was talking about the weather and not the time his old girlfriend had actually fucking vored him.

“... dude, that’s INSANE. You’re insane! How - how is that hot? Is it - is it weird, that I think it’s hot that you’ve fucked other people before?”

“Not really. I think it’s hot that you’re experienced too. Like... you’ve been with all these people, had all these experiences, and you still want to be with me. You still want to - to share a life with me, to be here by my side fighting monsters and villains, protecting this town and it’s people, helping me, keeping me steady, and - and even though you’ve seen me at my very worst, even though I’m needy and aggressive and stubborn and bossy and I know you wanna run away from all this sometimes, you - you’re still here, with me, even though you don’t have to be. This whole thing was my mess, but you’re still here, helping me clean it up, even though it’s a lifetime gig. You could be out there, making your own legends, or just sitting around somewhere far far away eating pie all day, maybe with some slew of casual lovers that take no effort to maintain who you don’t have to take care of, but you still choose me. You still wanna spend your time, probably your whole life, with me. And I... I don’t always get it, but... it’s incredible. I’m... wanted. You still want me. That’s amazing?”

“Well, yeah, of course I wanna spend my life with you. You’re my best friend, Mao Mao, insecurities and all. And you’re beautiful, and you’re bossy, and you’re reckless and passionate and responsible and I don’t think I deserve you sometimes because you’re so incredible and I’m so - but then I remember how much you’ve - you’ve fought for me in a way nobody else ever has. You WANT me here, in a way nobody else has ever wanted me. And I remember that we’re partners, through and through. You found me at my lowest point, and you still want me. You don’t need me either, because you’ve let me go before, let me be myself, and I... I don’t need you either, I could technically live without you, but I don’t want to, because I **want** you, and that’s better than needing someone! It’s... steadier. I’m better with you. I’m steadier. You make sure I take care of myself, even when I don’t want to, and you give me... I don’t know, purpose? Something to... work for.”

Badgerclops’s claws had, at that point, stilled, resting limply within Mao Mao’s slick, still slightly twitching, heated flesh. He stared down at the place where almost half of his whole hand was inside his partner, unwilling to look him in those vivid green eyes, no doubt narrowed and searching. Mao Mao gently took his chin and lifted it anyway, and Badgerclops allowed himself to glance up - and was met instead with widely blown, round pupils, hooded with heavy lids, accompanied with a love struck smile. 

“You make me better, too, Badgerclops.”

And they were kissing. Deep and loving, slow and generous, messy and languid. Then Mao Mao started grinding down again, and the kiss suddenly became much, much heavier, crushing and instinctual, with bruising lips and teeth, and Mao Mao groaned low and deep as his partner but down on his bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth and releasing it with a pop before leaning down to suck hickies down, lightly at the space just under his jaw, more harshly at the pulse point between neck and shoulder, fiercely at his collarbone, and down into his chest as the fingers began moving again, curling and pushing with a newfound ferocity that made Mao Mao grip at his partner’s shoulders, digging in his claws and biting his lip. 

Badgerclops unconsciously, thoughtlessly threw his arm around his partner, and the dildo slapped against his backside with a satisfying jiggle. Badgerclops froze up a bit, but Mao Mao groaned unabashedly, and it was hard to tell if he was voicing pleasure from the slap or from the reminder of their new toy’s existence. Maybe it was... a little bit of both? 

But the reminder was there all the same, and it gave Badgerclops a wicked idea.

He wiggled himself down further, suckling at The ticklish skin at Mao Mao’s abs now, making him buckle as the muscles fluttered in intricate and invulnerable patterns, a beauty in and of itself that Badgerclops allowed himself to admire for a moment before dragging his claws out of Mao Mao’s vaginal hole. Mao Mao whined indignantly, feeling unsatisfyingly empty from the loss, but his breath caught in his throat when he felt the soft, barbed head of the dildo press against his entrance. It pressed inside, just a bit, and it was the kind of stretch that burned just a bit, paired with the still-too-empty discomfort through the rest of his insides, and he needed -

He felt a warm, wet, sharp, sucking sensation, on his - directly on his clit, and oh holy fuck Badgerclops was - with TEETH, and it was - AMAZING-

Mao Mao SCREAMED in pleasure, as he finally came for the first time, his body going boneless, but Badgerclops wasn’t done, ohhoho no, he was sucking HARD on his clit, pressing the dildo in further, the barbed head rubbing against EVERYTHING that needed to be rubbed against, catching against the wet, rough edges of his vaginal walls and it was DELICIOUS, he couldn’t get enough, there were fireworks of that beautiful delicious stretch-spark-burn-pain-sparkle-yes-sharp-fresh-good-PLEASURE, and it kept going, deeper and deeper, with that wonderful GLORIOUS constant sucking on his clit taking the edge off the slight discomfort of the stretch, turning what might have maybe (?) been bad pain into the GOOD stuff, and getting further and further and further, inch by glorious inch, until they hit the base. Badgerclops left it there for a moment, still sucking constantly at Mao Mao’s clit, lavishing it with his tongue, giving it the same attention and dedication he’d give to a sweet pastry that caught his eye on an empty stomach, and then, THEN, with Mao Mao clutching and gasping and shouting his praises, he turned it on.

It was subtle at first - just a slight vibration that still managed to make Mao Mao shiver, felt in his core - and a slow, methodical dragging out of the toy, making Mao Mao moan desperately as it hit almost every ridge again - he pulled out about a quarter of the way, before it came back in at the same slow velocity, making a gross squelching sound as it sank back in, just a _ centimeter _ deeper this time, vibrations turned up just a _ little bit _ more. It paused, then dragged out again - wait - push - vibrate - oh ** _god_ ** \- in a way that was too calculated, too perfect, to be manually controlled.  
  


Mao Mao glanced down through the haze of pleasure - Badgerclops’s arm wasn’t moving at all, and though he’d calmed down a bit with the sucking, lavishing his swollen clit with purposeful strokes of his tongue and sucking only occasionally now, it became clear to Mao Mao in an instant that whatever the Dildo was doing, it was doing mostly on its own, with only Badgerclops’s steady arm and _ thoughts _ to control it. Badgerclops, the lazy bum, was fucking him with his ** _MIND_ **. Meaning he... could probably do this all NIGHT. 

And Badgerclops must have felt something, because he looked up at that moment, met Mao Mao’s disbelieving eyes with a smirk, and went. To. TOWN.

Mao Mao threw his head back with a strangled cry of ecstasy as Badgerclops’s dildo arm went ballistic on his pussy, vibrations buzzing him to his very core and making his vocalizations sound almost digitized, thrusting with a pace that made the bed frame _ shake _, and he couldn’t help it, he thrust his own hips to meet the onslaught, body moving in wave after wave of pure, exhilarating bliss, and he probably came again in there somewhere - it can be hard to tell sometimes - because it started to burn even more, but he didn’t care, it was that deep, satisfying, filling burn that wore itself away at every nerve ending, stretching him to his limits and bringing him slamming back down to meet it, making him wanting more, more, more, as he screamed and moaned and was EXHAUSTED by something POWERFUL, his lover’s clever, selfish, giving, wonderful mind, fucking him into oblivion... 

He probably came again in there somewhere too.

Eventually it became too much, even for him, and he pushed weakly at his lover’s arm, urging him, “stop, stop, too - too much...” and it slowed down obligingly to a halt, dragging out all the way until it was completed free. Badgerclops was panting heavily over him, eyes wild, and Mao Mao’s hand instinctually trailed down and started rubbing gently at his clit, taking the edge off of the lingering discomfort. 

“H-holy shit man... all that, and you’re still going...???”

Mao Mao’s head was still too foggy to make sense of anything, but he still tried his hardest to find a slightly coherent response between his gasping breaths. “I’m - it’s - to recover - makes pain - feel better-”

Badgerclops started for a moment, then hugged him enthusiastically. “You’re amazing. Incredible. This is - _ legendary _. Mao Mao, you’re so good! I love you! I love you Mao Mao!”

“Shuddup...” a firm, stiff, hard-but soft-smooth-skin erection pressed firmly against his backside, and he wiggled himself around. “You’re still hard...”

“Yeah, uhhh, you were... very, VERY sexy...” he groaned as Mao Mao wriggled against him. “You don’t have to do anything if you don’t wanna, I could just-”

“No, no, no, I wanna, I wanna - make you feel goooooood.... like you made me feel.....” Mao Mao, guided more by desire than by conscious thought, squirmed around until he found it - the lube. 

He wiggled himself around more to face his partner, big strong beautiful soft heavenly goofy awestruck amazing HIS Badgerclops, with the silky-coarse fur and the prettiest blue sparkly WARM eye, and the red swollen yummy BIG smooth soft ** _hard_ ** erection, and grabbed it, licked it, suckled at the tip, popped it into his mouth (just the tip, rest too big for now -) and sucked HARD. 

Badgerclops buckled, screeched “MAOMAO!” And Mao Mao hummed, letting himself suckle down, just a little bit more, lick-swallow-exhale- taste, deeper and deeper, more and more, firmer and harder, until a bitter taste flooded him, overwhelmed him, no wrong pipe wait - and white shot out his nose, he gagged, it was overwhelming, but Badgerclops was still hard, that must have just been the precome, so he didn’t stop, he kept going harder, more diligent, stronger, he could do this, he could get his lover to come, until Badgerclops started shoving weakly at his shoulders, calling his name, saying “stop, stop, stop, Mao Mao, stop, it’s -”

So Mao Mao popped off, with a bitter taste in his mouth (and nose, ew, it was all in his sinuses and he’d have to ask Badgerclops if there were any medical reprocussions to semen getting shot out your nose) and a confused look on his face, and crawled over his partner’s big, long torso to his broad, squishy chest. “What? What is it? Did I hurt you, or...?”

“Mao Mao, I... I came. You made me - but then you just kept... oh my god, and it came out your nose, but you still just- holy fuck, Mao Mao.” He started laughing, nigh-hysterically, as he clutched his lover.

“But... You’re still hard?”

“Well, yeah! Hard not to be when you just kept going like that!!!”

“Wait, so... god, do you have a tissue? I can’t - ugh that’s gross-”

“Oh! Yeah, sure, of course, right here, here you go -”

Mao Mao gratefully took the tissue and blew his nose ferociously, took a deep breath, blew it again, trying to get that disgusting bitter taste out of his sinuses. Badgerclops meanwhile cleaned up the rest of the mess as best he could, wiping the white goo out of his fur and peeling the condom off the dildo on his arm, tying it up neatly and tossing it in the trash, before letting his arm switch itself back from dildo mode to normal hand mode. When Mao Mao finally finished blowing his nose, he drew his tongue back and pressed it to the roof of his mouth, dragging it forward to extract the last of the gunk from his sinuses into his mouth, gathered it on his tongue, and spit it out onto his fifth tissue, before folding it up neatly and tossing it in the trash bin with the rest of the tissues and the used condom. He glanced at Badgerclops’s dick, still rather red and swollen.

“You’re still hard?”

“... yeah.” He said it almost guiltily, as though ashamed by his own endurance. Mao Mao grinned cockily. “Well... we still haven’t used that vaginal condom. You wanna... try finishing things off the traditional way?”

“Wait, you... you’re still up for that? Even after everything else???”

“... Maybe.” He flashed a dirty grin. “Just let me, I don’t know, brush my teeth or something first? Your cum tastes REALLY gross...”

“Uhhhh... yeah, sure, okay. I’ll just uhhh... sit here, and... wait for you, okay?”

“Perfect,” he purred, as he stole a (close-mouthed) kiss from his lover and sauntered off into the bathroom.

Badgerclops sat back, his organic hand automatically reaching out to grasp his still-hard dick. He glanced down, and was curious- why was the head purple now? It didn’t- holy _ shit- _

_ “Mao Mao, you gave my dick a hickie!!!” _

“I _ what _???”

“Come here, check this out, it’s so cool!!!” Badgerclops laughed at the sight of the purple bruise on the tip of his dick, “you sucked my dick so hard you gave it a hickie!”

Mao Mao spit the last of the mouth wash into the sink and wiped the toothpaste foam off of his mouth as he walked back into their room to witness the dick hickie. “Oh. My. Gosh.”

“I know, right??? It’s so cool!!!”

Mao Mao shook his head fondly. “Only you, Badgerclops, would get excited about someone leaving a hickie on your dick.”

“Well, would you look at that - I left a hickie on your dick too!”

“What? I don’t -” he glanced down, and right there on his clit was a reddish-violet bruise. He blushed. “Badgerclops, that’s not -”

“No, no, I looked it up, it’s the same thing! Vaginas are structured the same way that penises are, it’s just mostly all on the inside instead of the outside. The ovaries are like balls, only they make eggs instead of semen - although I suppose yours don’t, since you had your tubes tied- but the shaft of a penis corresponds to the G-spot in the vagina, and the clitorous is like a little penis head, poking out ahead of everything else to make sure it gets the most attention. It’s not a perfect match, but everyone’s anatomy is a little bit different anyway - sometimes even crazy different like Tanya Keys or Orangusnake - and you’re still you. We still left hickies on each other’s dickies~!”

Mao Mao started at his companion as he continued to literally poke fun at their situation, booping his swollen and bruised clit and his own swollen and bruised dick tip with spontaneous bouts of severe giggles. Mao Mao had accepted his own situation a long time ago, had managed to finally get his family to stop misgendering him (even if his father still accidentally deadnamed him on occasion when trying to remember his chosen name), and embraced the fact that his body would never change. He even liked his own body, how deftly he could maneuver situations in it and how strong and flexible he had trained himself to be - it was HIS body, he had _ made _ it his, so it didn’t matter, even if people still occasionally mistook him for a woman and his birth certificate labeled him with a name and a gender he’d never agree with. But here was his partner, his best friend and lover, treating the whole thing like it was no big deal, telling him that they weren’t that different despite experiencing all the physical evidence to the contrary - they’d fucked plenty of times, had found out so many little differences between their anatomies that it was hard to keep track of all they had learned, and yet here was Badgerclops, factually showing him their similarities, that they weren’t so completely different at all. Robotic (or missing) limbs and foreign species, scattered scars and altered proportions, different stories, similar pains, they... were completely different, and yet entirely similar. 

And it warmed him to the bone.

With a quiet smile, Mao Mao snagged the forgotten vaginal condom and read the instructions printed on the back of the package. Badgerclops stopped poking at their respective genital heads and watched Mao Mao intently study the instructions. He continued to stroke himself, watching as Mao Mao started subconsciously grinding his clit against the heel of his foot, toes perched against the edge of the bed. Eventually, finally, Mao Mao nodded and tore open the package carefully, so as to not damage the instructions (just in case), and looked at the disposable invention in his palm.

It was kinda like a regular condom, only instead of just one yellow ring of plastic there were two, one much larger than the other, folded in against a sleeve of plastic - kinda like a flimsy plastic cup made out of that much softer, stretchy condom material. Mao Mao shook it out and took the smaller ring in his paw, pinching it in the center so that it created a narrow infinity shape, and leaned back against the cushions of their bed, using the other paw to spread himself, and carefully shoved the small ring in as deep as it could go. Once that was done, he spread the larger ring over his entire genital area, and reached for the lube. Then he reached for Badgerclops, who came over to him wordlessly, but excitedly. Mao Mao was still already stretched wide and waiting from Badgerclops’s treatment with the dildo, so there wasn’t much to prepare there - just Badgerclops, now. 

Mao Mao squeezed the lube over Badgerclops’s dick, and he shivered. 

“It’s cold!” He said with a whine

“My bad,” said Mao Mao with a smirk, “here, let me... warm it up.” 

Mao Mao slid his hands over his partner’s dick, spreading the lube, and he moaned, clutching Mao Mao’s wrist with his organic hand and his back with the mechanical one. Mao Mao moaned at the feeling of Badgerclops’s slightly overheated metal hand on his slightly aching back, and meweled further when it started kneading at the tense muscles it found there. He pushed at Badgerclops’s shoulders to lay down on his back, and he obliged, letting Mao Mao straddle him again. Mao Mao gripped the base of his partner’s erection, pointing it up instead of straining against his partner’s belly, and lifted up his own hips, sinking down on it slowly. Jesus Christ, his partner was big - he didn’t think he could be stretched much more than he had been before, but he was proven wrong - while the dildo had given him that pleasant burn through sheer velocity and range of motion, this gave him a new burn, with the sheer force of firm, unyielding size, slowly sinking in. He couldn’t even take it all at once, stopping roughly a third of the way down to adjust. 

“Holy fuck, Mao Mao, you’re TIGHT-”

“And... you’re... ahhhh.... so big...”

“Are you... okay?”

“I will be, I will be, just ... gotta take a few... whoooo...!”

“Alright, alright, okay, okay okay okay okay okAAAYYYY! MAO MAO!”

Mao Mao had started moving, lifting himself with a groan before rolling back down. Badgerclops clutched his hips desperately, whether to make him move or to simply ground himself was unclear, but either way he still let Mao Mao set his own pace, for which he was thankful. He lifted himself again, and rolled back down with a guttural groan, snatching his paw down to rub fiercely at his own clit. _ Now things were moving... _

He started to roll his hips more rhythmically, groaning as the movements pushed his partner’s member further and further into himself, stretching him _ magnificently _ , filling him completely, until he felt that incredible pleasant burn EVERYWHERE inside him, seated fully on his partner’s dick, filling him up so completely and beautifully, and he couldn’t help himself, it was just so good, he kept moving over and over and over, his whole body rolling to fill himself again and again and again, it was INCREDIBLE, DELICIOUS bliss...

“Oh my god, Mao Mao... you.... are you... ahhaha, ohhhh my GOD, Ma- How- how do you feel, baby~?”

Mao Mao purred, and Badgerclops shivered violently from the vibrations that delicious little purr caused...“Juuuuuuuuust right...”

“Would you - ahhhhhhhhh fuck, care to elaborate on that?”

Mao Mao hummed, his body still flowing like a constant stream over his body, rolling endlessly and beautifully, his iron-gripped, white-hot pussy sliding luxuriously over his dick, again and again and again and -

“It’s like... lava... sloooow, hot, beautiful, and su -hu -HUCH a goooooooooooooooooood burn.... you’re stretching me.... ahhhhhhh.... to my LIMITS, Badgerclops, I’m not even sure if I can TAKE it ALL, it’s so -soooooooohhhhhhhhhhh, there, yes, god yes there Badgerclops, it’s so GOO, GOOD, AAAAHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmnnnnnugh,” 

“Oh, hoo, good, oh my, god, Mao, Mao Mao, I, FUCK, gahhhaha, aaaaaaaaaannn, AAAAAAHHHHHH, AAAHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN-”

...

After all was said and done, they collapsed next to eachother, their breathing falling into sync. It was always so incredible how their breath fell into the same rhythm like this, in these rare quiet moments between them - his sisters had always each had their own rhythm of breath, whenever they slept in the same room, their own patterns of life and their own independent ways of being even in slumber amongst family - but he and Badgerclops instinctually fell into the same rhythm, the same wavelength, the same breath, when left to their own devices. It was such an incredibly soothing feeling, created such a simple wonder - the feeling of belonging. Of fitting with someone. The ability to share a rhythm, to share a life, with someone he’d found. With someone he’d chosen, and someone who’d chosen him. Who had chosen to spend this life with him, out of all the people in the world - his best friend, his partner, his co-hero and his co-parent, and now his lover. Someone he trusted with his deepest insecurities, who almost made those insecurities feel like... things to be proud of? Or just.... faucets of his existence. Neutral things, that still allowed him to be a person worthy of love. His scars, his little broken bit of tail, his small slim stature, his lack of traditionally male anatomy, and most of all his need for attention, felt less like personal failings and more like things that made Mao Mao _ himself _. 

But there was still something on his mind...

“How come you know what Orangusnake’s junk looks like?”

“Oh. I fucked him.”

“Awww, what? You fucked Oragusnake before I did?”

“Mmmhm.”

“How dare you, he’s supposed to be MY nemesis! When did this happen?”

“When I was on their crew a few years back. I don’t remember much due to the malnutrition and whatnot, but like, it was trippy. I’m pretty sure that Orangusnake can like... merge senses with other people? Or something? Cuz I remember doing things to him with limbs that were NOT mine, and I’m pretty sure he could control parts of me sometimes...? It was WILD yo.”

“Well, shit. Guess I gotta get even.”

“We could probably share him. Ooh! We could ask him to have a threesome! Heh, he’d probably like... short circuit or something. ... wait. Would it be a threesome, or a foursome...?”

“Eh, the two probably go hand-in-hand when it comes to Orangusnake.”

“I’ll get you hand-in-hand...”

“Nooooo, don’t, you actually wore me out, it stings too much now...”

“Holy shit, I actually wore you out? You??? I have bested the great Mao Mao, champion of Endurance, with my ability to sex???”

“Shut up, you’re worn out too.”

“”Well yeah but that’s normal. You made me come like 3 or 4 times tonight bro, I couldn’t get it up again even if I wanted to.”

“Heh, yeah...”

“How many times did I make you come?”

“I don’t know. At least... 5 times, I guess?”

“Wha - how do you not know?”

“It can be hard to tell. Don’t worry though, I had LOTS of fun~”

“Okay, but still, according to my research, it should be a VERY distinct feeling. Like, the nirvana or pleasure, or whatever.”

“Not really...? It’s more like just... a bump, and then I’m tired after sometimes? Again, hard to tell, dude.”

“... vaginas are weird.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I like yours though. It’s a lot of fun.”

“Your dick is pretty awesome fun too. And also very weird. Wait hold on, did it just... shrink???”

“Um... yeah? You kinda tired it out, buddy.”

“Yeah but like.... it’s so small now??? And shriveled????? I thought it would just... deflate?”

“Wha- no! How the heck am I supposed to go about my day with a huge dick hanging around all the time?”

“I was wondering that exact same thing! It was one of the reasons I’m glad I don’t have one, seemed like a huge hassle. I wouldn’t be able to move nearly as well with a big old ding-dong hanging out all the time.”

“Neither can anyone??? That’s why it goes back in???”

“... huh. Still seems like a bother.”

“I like it though! It’s weird, sure, but it’s mine.”

“Suit yourself then. I’m gonna sleep. You did this to me, you tired me out, how do you do it?”

“With my big smart brain and my big weird wiener, that’s how.”

“Alright, smart-ass.”

“Oh you can fuck my smart ass in the morning, I got you a strap-on too, just so you know what it’s like to have a big weird wiener hanging around”

“Ha ha! Sounds like a plan!”

“Okay enough banter, it’s sleepy time now.”

“Yes, sleepy snuggle time. Snuggle me. I demand it.”

“Eye eye, sheriff Mao Mao, sir!”

...

“Hey Mao Mao?”

“Yeah, Badgerclops?”

“You remembered to pee, right? And drink 8 ounces of water for every round we had?”

“You’re supposed to do that?”

“Yeah, I like, chugged a Gatorade each time I came. You didn’t notice?”

“... no...???”

“Oh. Well let’s fix that then. We don’t want you getting a urerine infection, or a dehydration migraine, right?”

“... hey Badgerclops?”

“Yeah, Mao Mao?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Mao Mao. But that’s not getting you outta the aftercare.”

“Oh alright, fine!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, I told you safe sex is hotter than anything. Sorry it came so late, but in my defense, this last chapter was longer than the other two combined, and I had to do some more... research with my Girlfriend before this last chapter’s smut gelled correctly. ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Coming up next: The Closet Incident


End file.
